MAD COW-GIRL'S ELECTIONS PAGE

2008 BY-ELECTION (HALTEMPRICE & HOWDEN, CANDIDATE)
To quote Douglas Adams's Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy........

"All right," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question..."
"Yes...!"
"Of Life, the Universe and Everything..." said Deep Thought.
"Yes...!"
"Is..." said Deep Thought, and paused.
"Yes...!"
"Is..."
"Yes...!!!...?"
"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

 A vote for the Mad Cow-Girl is a vote for a return to real law & order.

I may be a Loony, but I'm not mad enough to want dangerous people walking free in the name of political correctness.

  • Suspected terrorists should be held until proved safe.
  • Sex offenders should be held in asylums until considered safe (if ever).
  • Antisocial yobs can rot in prison if they can't be sociable.

Why don't decent citizens have a "Human Right" not to be assaulted, blown up or harassed, when the criminals can scream human rights if their handcuffs hurt?
The answer is 42!!! Now we just need to figure out the real question!!!

Isle of Wight to Become Giant Penal Colony - Under a Mad Cow-Girl premiership, the problem of prison overcrowding will be solved by resettling the residents of the Isle of Wight back on the mainland and turning the island into a giant penal colony. With minefields around the coast, the newly transported can be parachuted onto the sealed island. Silk will thereby become the new Chav fashion, as parachute material will be abundant.

Election Leaflet To Download


Dowload your own copy to either print or display on a website: (Photo jpg format - Printable pdf format)

Photographs & Badges Etc

Haltemprice & Howden Campaign Song

Toby Keith's "Beer for my Horses" - Click Here to Listen to a clip of this country music song

2008 BY-ELECTION (CREWE & NANTWICH, CANDIDATE'S GUEST/PARTNER)
Once again, with a yellow/black 2cv decked out in loony bunting, I headed towards a by-election with our candidate Nick the Flying Brick and a great time was had by all.

2006 LOCAL COUNCIL ELECTIONS (CITY OF SUNDERLAND, HENDON WARD)
Candidate Political Party Votes Photo Comments
Mary Smith Labour Party 1,062    
David Guynan British National Party 534    
Alistair Newton Conservative Party 528    
John Jackson Liberal Democrat Party 361    
Mad Cow-Girl Official Monster Raving Loony Party 48    
Yee-Haw, Once again I won the election by Austrailian rules. Try it yourself. Stand on your head and look at the list and I'll be on top. Not a bad result considering I had no time for campaigning, making manifestos etc etc.

2006 BY-ELECTION (BLAENAU GWENT, COUNTING AGENT)
Film
Clip
Travelling down to Wales to support our glorious leader Alan 'Howling Laud' Hope in his bid to win this seat. With 318 votes in the bag here are the photos for you to view.

2005 GENERAL ELECTION (SUNDERLAND SOUTH, CANDIDATE)
Candidate Political Party Votes Photo Links
Chris Mullin Labour Party 17,982    
Robert Oliver Conservative Party 6,923    
Gareth Kane Liberal Democrat Party 4,492    
David Guynan British National Party 1,166    
Mad Cow-Girl Official Monster Raving Loony Party 149   Local 2005 Manifesto Page
Once again I decided to stand for parliament in my local constituency of Sunderland South for the 2005 General Election. Polling 149 votes this time without a mail shot, I still seem to have a resounding following in the local neighbourhood. Photos above include my campaign badges, a free bet from William Hill which I failed to win and photos off the TV from Sky News & BBC News 24. In addition there are three clips from the local newspaper during the election campaign.

2005 GENERAL ELECTION (SEDGEFIELD, ELECTION AGENT)
Following my election victory in Sunderland I jumped onto my trusty steed and galloped down to Sedgefield to perform my roll as Election Agent in Boney Maronie's bid to unseat the Prime Minister, Tony Blair. Photos include the loonies at the count, Boney Maronie & myself on stage for the declaration, Sky News TV capture shots and the black & white shot which appeared in the Daily Express.

2004 BY-ELECTION (HARTLEPOOL, COUNTING AGENT)
Back from my travels around America & other parts of the world, I joined Alan 'Howling Laud' Hope in Hartlepool to support his bin to take this By-election by storm. After a day of riding around the town in a converted Disco Fire-Engine we headed for the count and an evening of interesting anticipation.

The Wilderness Years - Leaving the Official Monster Raving Loony Party Ranch during a period between General Elections, I rode off into the sunset to explore the wilderness lands.

2001 GENERAL ELECTION (SUNDERLAND SOUTH, CANDIDATE)
Candidate Political Party Votes Photo Links
Chris Mullin Labour Party 19,921    
Jim Boyd Conservative Party 6,254    
Mark Greenfield Liberal Democrat Party 3,675    
Joseph Dobbie British National Party 576    
Joseph Moore UK Independence Party 470    
Mad Cow-Girl Official Monster Raving Loony Party 291   Local 2001 Manifesto Page
After last year's taster at politics in the local council election, it was time to put up the cash and stand for parliament. With the expectation of losing my deposit I wasn't to be disapointed, but we did have an enjoyable time while doing it. Photos include election material, newspaper clips and TV coverage of the count.

2000 LOCAL COUNCIL ELECTIONS (CITY OF SUNDERLAND, HENDON WARD)
Candidate Political Party Votes Photo Comments
Janice Morrissey Conservative Party 1,213    
Gillian Gailbraith Labour Party 1,082    
Mad Cow-Girl Official Monster Raving Loony Party 108    
David Guynan British National Party 82    
After failing to get my nomination papers into the council offices last year I was on the ball this time for my political debut. Just as much to my surprise as anyone elses I actually managed to come something other than last. Photos above incluse posters and leaflets used in my election campaign, as well as newspaper cuttings.

1999 LOCAL COUNCIL ELECTIONS (CITY OF SUNDERLAND, HENDON WARD)
The Failed Election Debut - Following in the footsteps of the great Screaming Lord Sutch my political debut was delayed by one year. On telephoning the council offices to enquire as to the closing time for nominations I was duly informed nominations had closed two hours previously.

1995 AN INADVERTENT TRIP INTO POLITICS
Political Debut by Accident - It was purely by accident that I ventured into politics in 1995. The Deputy Prime Minister's forgetfulness meant he's parked his beloved Jaguar where he then forgot it's location. The next day it was parked on a meter in Central London without payment and I was working with Westminster Parking Control at the time. It was my job to wheelclamp the lost car of a forgetful MP. Photos above show the Daily Mail news report of the incident and one of myself with my little van (no rotten fruit please, it was just a job).

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